A jumble of thoughts…

Let’s see…

Our 4th birthing class was last night.  We did vocalizations and practiced some different “alternative” positions for laboring.  Yeah, I knew the positions but she helped with proper body mechanics during them.  She said that labor can last for a week (between the first contractions and the birth) so it’s best to preserve your energy for as long as possible.  Someone made the comment that if you want kids to abstain from sex tell them that labor can last a whole week, that will scare them… yup, I think that would!

Bishop and I were talking about my birth plan last night and packing my hospital bag.  I think it’s starting to sink in to him that in a month and some days that we are going to have a child.  He is starting to participate more in the decisions and he is asking questions here and there.  Kinda nice to know that I’m not the only one thinking about all of this.

Sis has yet another appt today with her therapist to discuss the 4-H issues.  This will be the third one this week (!) since the other two appts we didn’t get around to talking about 4-H.  I think this is mom’s fault because whenever she comes to therapy with us her and the therapist spend the whole time talking about other things.  Frustrating to say the least.  Hopefully we can address 4-H and maybe get to some of the negativity issues we are going through lately.  Sis won’t accept that things aren’t as she thinks they are.  In her world there are no other possibilities than the one she has come up with.  She says this is because she doesn’t want me to be right.  Talk about opening up a can of worms with that one, I guess we will see how today’s appt goes…

I was playing with my cat the other night and he bit me, not hard but enough to break the skin.  I put some rubbing alcohol on it right away but I think it’s a little infected.  Serves me right.  So now I have to put bactine on it a couple times a day so it will stop being sore.

When I was showering last night I accidentally caught my thumb nail on one of my stretch marks.  Lovely.  I did it so hard it opened the skin and made a huge bruise IN my stretch mark.  It looks horrific, I’m glad I’ve got a week and a half until I see the Dr again, I don’t want anyone to see how bad I mangled myself.

My aunt and cousin are coming up to visit tonight.  They have never been here (they live in Modesto, CA, about 300 miles away) so this should be interesting.  My cousin is my youngest one, almost 10 years older than me, and my aunt is actually my uncle’s ex-wife.  We were really close when I was very little but since then, because of the age difference between me and my cousin and the distance our families have drifted apart.  My cousin is one of the cooler people in my family (kinda like me, tattooed, pierced, rebel in other words) and we get along.  My aunt, well, she has always been quiet and never talk ed to me much… I wonder how this weekend will go…

Ok, my mind is blank now…. I think that was it.

Funny conversation

Last night sis spent the night over at mom’s house.  It was beyond wonderful to have a quiet night and just be mellow without her chatting the whole time.  So I cooked a great dinner (blue cheese stuffed steak au poivre with garlic potatoes and green beans) and we watched the top 100 songs of the 90s on VH1.  I know, doesn’t sound like anything special but it was really nice.  After dinner I noticed that I got some grease on my pants and was moaning about it.  The conversation went like this:

me – do you know how hard it is to get oil out of khaki?

him – no, actually I have no idea.

me – what on earth are you going to do when I become incapacitated and can’t do things like laundry?

him – Oh, you aren’t going to be incapacitated!

me – yeah, 3 days in the hospital then a week at home doing nothing but feeding the baby and trying to sleep.

him – well, I can go a week without clean clothes.

me – You have some sad misconceptions floating around your head if you think that I’m going to get home from having a baby and then take the baby and the laundry to the laundromat.  What about food?  What are YOU going to cook during all that time?

him – Ok, you’ve got me there.  I can do laundry and I can find stuff to cook.  You know what?  You are the most wonderful wife and you spoil me completely.  I’ll do my best to keep the house up during that time.

Just the way he said it made me smile.  Maybe there is hope for him after all!

I had my 34 week appt yesterday, everything is looking good.  Thank you for the suggestions on the heartburn, I asked my Dr about it and she gave me some samples of prevacid to try and after 2 days of taking it I have to say I could cry I’m so happy!  Let’s just keep our fingers crossed that the heartburn stays away.  Now I’ve started counting down… 33 days before I start working on getting this kid out.  I would like to have him somewhere between sis’s birthday (October 27th) and mine (November 6th, my due date) but not on either of our birthdays.  Here is hoping that he will be a week early!

Fun…

So he has hiccups, I have heartburn.  I’m wondering if the two are connected since every time he has hiccups I have heartburn. 

And I’m not talking about normal eat 2 tums and it’s gone heartburn, I’m talking like burn my throat, the back of my tongue is sore, up all night feeling sick, can’t eat anything or drink anything heartburn… it really sucks!!!  Anyone have any suggestions to keeping it away or at least making it not so intense?  I see the Dr on Tuesday and I’m going to ask about something prescription strength but until then I need some relief.

Other than all of that I’ve been seriously bored all day.  Yesterday too.  I’ve got to find something to do, I could watch my starting to be huge collection of DVDs or read some of my million books but none of them are new.  Or I could play one of my hundred computer games, but they aren’t new either (I’m eagerly awaiting the arrival of the new Diablo game…it looks killer!).  I hate being bored.  BLAH!

What a day…

So this morning started out with me taking inventory of what clothes and baby stuff I actually have.  (Not counting the baby shower gifts that have arrived.  Much to Bishop’s dismay I still refuse to open them!  Aren’t you proud of me?)  My list is pathetically short.  For clothes for 0-3 months I have 5 onesies.  That’s it.  I have clothes all the way up to 3T but most are just a t-shirt here and there.  I should really start making a list of stuff I need soon so after the shower I can get the rest of what I need.  The list is starting to look long… *sigh*

Then we did laundry… fun fun!  Of course everyone at the laundromat has to stare at me and my big belly waddling around carrying my laundry basket.  Then we got home, Bishop had his pay check so I went to go put it in the bank then stopped by the gas station on my way home for a soda. 

I get out of the car, get my soda, then get back in and my car won’t start.  And it’s making funny noises.  Wonderful, my car is broken.  I start to panic.  I call Bishop, he comes by the gas station, takes a look, tries to start it a couple times, has no clue what is going on and then he left to go back to work.  I call mom to tell her what is going on and that I might need her help and get my car towed home.  Then I called my mechanic.  It’s his day off but he says he will stop by and take a look.  He comes, takes a look, sees my keys and asks me about my car alarm.  My alarm?!?  I’ve never used the damn thing.  I don’t even know how it works other than when it’s on the car won’t start……………… fuck.  And that was that.  I figured out how to turn it off and the car was fine.  Yeah, I feel dumb.

Now I’m home, we went to dinner and had some pretty good italian food and we are watching a movie.  Sis has 4-H tomorrow morning early so hopefully I’ll have the whole, or at least most, of the day free of noise and bother.  At the very least I will be able to make myself some mac and cheese…yum! 

It’s the little things in life, you know?

Bad, bad, bad!

Bad me for not posting in a while.

Bad because sis is sick.  I don’t mind it so much because when she is sick she is REALLY mellow and easy to deal with, but it’s bad that every time she eats anything she pukes.

Bad because I have 7 weeks left before Derek is supposed to come into this world and I’m staring to have thoughts along the lines of “WTF was I thinking?  Me, be a mom?  How the hell did I think I could manage that?”.  That and I feel rather unprepared.  I’ve got time but I keep thinking I should be ready by now….

So, on other things, my third birthing class is tomorrow night.  The last one was cool, we did a meditation technique to help cope with pain.  We also did some visualization and art.  She asked what was our biggest fear during labor (mine was sis coming in the room and not leaving even though I’m screaming at her to get out) and she wanted to paint a representation of ourselves dealing with that fear.  I couldn’t.  I locked up and got all emotional.  What I painted was a vision of pure panic and a hope to contain it.  I did make up my mind on something when doing that: when I go into labor I’m going to call mom, tell her to wait a couple of hours and come over and get sis, then when they get to the hospital I would like her to bring Lin in for a couple minutes to show her that I’m ok, then they can go wait or leave or whatever until after I’m done.  I just don’t think that I can deal with Lin being in the room.  Right now I’m really hoping I go into labor at night, that way it wouldn’t be too terrible if they weren’t sitting there waiting for me, they could be sleeping instead.