And the shit hittith the fan…

So the last couple weeks have been hell.  Oh, Derek isn’t too bad, he seems to think that I like staying up all night and only getting a couple hours of broken sleep a day, but over all he is a pretty good baby.  No real crying/screaming fits, not a lot of fussiness, he won’t sleep in his crib but that’s ok, I like him sleeping between us on the bed.  And Bishop has been great with helping out with him.  On his days off I can sleep for a couple hours straight and catch up some and when Derek just wants to be held for hours on end he will do that so I can take care of other stuff.  No, the real problem is mom and sis.

When I was in the hospital sis stayed with mom.  That was planned.  After we got home and sis came back from mom’s house the problems started.  Sis and I were arguing, nothing new, and she told me that I needed to find a job because she was going to move in with mom.  Excuse me?  Right now my job is looking after her and the state pays me to stay home and do that.  So I call mom to ask her what she is talking about.  Mom says that sis is unhappy, that she has been for a while and wants to move back in with her.  When I finally get the list of complaints from sis (and it took about a week and a half to find out what they were and I had to get it from mom because sis wouldn’t tell me) it’s a bunch of bullshit.  Half of the “issues” she has with Bishop and I are things that her therapist and I have worked on (like schedules, rules and the such) and the other half she is lying about.  Oh, yeah, and that she is terrified of Bishop.

Mom isn’t any help, she believes everything sis says at face value, doesn’t doubt anything.  Mom told me that she likes sis’s company and I already have someone to take care of, sis would just be in the way.  Needless to say I’m pissed.  Here I was, not even a week after giving birth to my son and a hormonal wreck and those two are turning my world upside down.  Yeah, I have someone to take care of, but if I have to get a job, and I would, there is no way we could live off of what Bishop makes, that means that Derek would have to go into daycare and I wouldn’t be taking care of him.  Some stranger would because there is no way I would ask mom to watch him and none of our friends would be able to with their work schedules.

Talk about a major blow.  For days every time I looked at Derek or nursed him I would start crying.  The last thing I want to do is be away from my baby, I don’t want some stranger playing with him during the day while I slave away at Target or K-Mart.  It breaks my heart to even think about it.  The way I see it is that if sis is so unhappy she should have talked about it with us first, and mom shouldn’t have agreed to the solution of her moving.  Last Monday we talked to sis’s therapist about it, she didn’t offer much other than to say that now is NOT the time to be making major changes and that we will work on all of this.  It will take many sessions with her to either get things changed to the point that sis is happier living with us or that she is moving in with mom.  I have no idea how this will work out.  I’m feeling rather defeated right now, I’m almost not willing to fight over all of this but at the same time I’m willing to do whatever I have to do to stay home with Derek.

Other than all of that everything is peachy…   I hate having to wait to see how this all turns out.  The whole situation sucks big donkey dick.

Today:

Derek had his first Dr appt.  He was a little jaundiced when we left the hospital but that has gone away now (yay!).  I was told that his back arching and constant kicking and punching is totally normal, as is the pinkish pee in his diapers.  I’m so relieved, there are no words to describe it.  He has gained an ounce since we left the hospital, another good thing.  He was 7 pounds, 4 ounces at birth, when we left the hospital he was 6 pounds 8 ounces, up to 6, 9 today.  Also now that my milk has come in he will sleep longer and be more satisfied after a shorter time nursing.  Even better, maybe that way I can get some actual sleep.  In fact I should be sleeping now but I had a nap earlier so I’m ok for now.  Derek has been sleeping since we got back from the Dr appt, almost 4 hours now…cool!

My milk has come in.  Yeah, no kidding.  All of a sudden the left side of my shirt was wet.  So since Derek was asleep I decided to pump some.  That way Bishop has a way to feed him when I’m napping or whatever.  Well, while I was doing the left side the right side must have been squirting because all of a sudden my arm and bra were dripping all over.  It made Bishop and I laugh…lol!  I guess all these years hauling around my huge 36DDDs have paid off!

Maybe it’s this prolonged nap of his but I’m feeling optimistic that things are smoothing out because the last two days at home have been hard on me with no sleep and him crying almost constantly.

The only problems I’m having, other than the lack of sleep, is that I’m so unbelievably sore and stiff.  That and the meds that the Dr gave me, I took a look, I thought it was one thing but it ended up being oxycontin, make me loopy.  I’m so glad I waited to take this morning’s pill until after we got back from the appt.

Ok, little guy is up.  Gotta go!  And thank you for all the congratulations!

It’s a boy!

First Name / Screen Name: Colleen/Cyberrblue

Baby’s Name: Derek Ambrose

Gender: Boy

Original Due Date: 11/06/08

DOB: 11/10/08

 

 

Weight: 7lbs 4oz

 

 

Height: 18 1/4  inches

Ok, so I’ll put this day by day so you know what was going on when…

Saturday (Nov 8th)
I was having contractions about every 4-6 minutes so we went to the hospital at 11:30 at night. The nurse checked me in, I was put on the monitor for 2 hours and yes, I was having contractions and I was about 2 cm dilated so they admitted me.

Sunday (Nov 9th)
Contractions continued, by 4 am they were every 2-4 minutes and I was dilated to almost 4 cm. No meds or anything at this point. I was doing ok, very tired since I couldn’t rest in between. At about noon the Dr checked me and I hadn’t made any progress so he gave me some options. Since my water hadn’t broken I could go home and rest (yeah, that wouldn’t work), I could try to get things going on my own at the hospital by walking, using the birth ball etc, they could give me some meds to help me rest for a couple hours, or they could give me pitocin and break my water. I opted for the meds because I knew I wouldn’t be able to rest without some help. They put in an IV and came back with some morphine. Blessed heaven, I was able to sleep for 4 hours.

When I woke up the contractions had stopped so I tried walking and such to get them started again. It helped some but not as much as the Dr wanted so we talked about starting pitocin. The Dr decided to break my water at about 5 pm. Wow, I have a feeling that there was a lot more water than was supposed to be in there because DH said it looked like I lost 2-3 liters but that wasn’t all of it. Every time I moved I would lose another 2 cups or so. Then the Dr started pitocin. I labored with the pitocin, and later with some pain meds, for another 3 hours with no progress. Basically his head was not coming down, I would have a contraction, he would come down onto my cervix, then the contraction would end and he would float back up. And his head still wasn’t coming down except during the contractions. At this point, about 10 pm, I asked for a epidural, I was in so much pain I was bawling after each contraction.

Monday (Nov 10th)
At 2 am the head OB came in and checked me and we talked about what was going on. At this point I hadn’t dilated much, I was at 5cm, but my contractions were every 2 minutes. The pain meds weren’t doing anything for me other than I was able to sleep the minute or so in between. (I’ve heard of people doing that but didn’t know it was possible…very weird) The Dr said at that point since his head wasn’t engaging and I wasn’t dilating and his heart rate was starting to drop a little during the contractions (it’s supposed to speed up and up until that point it was) that we needed to have a c-section…now! I was wheeled in there at about 3 am, DH came in right after. He sat next to me behind the curtain. At 3:25 they asked DH to stand up so they could see Derek’s head. At 3:27 DH sat back down and started bawling saying he was perfect. Of course I started bawling as well…lol, we are a bunch of softies..

After they cleaned him up and showed him to us they closed me up and took me to the ICU. My heart rate went way down, so did my blood pressure, so they kept me for a couple hours. When I got to first see him after he was born he was like 4 hours old. I had just got back from the ICU and was trying to wake up enough to nurse him when Mitzi called (sorry hun!). Other than that the last couple days have been in the hospital learning how to nurse and what to do when he wakes up and cries.

He is a really mellow baby, barely cries or fusses, and when he does nursing helps out immediately and he goes back to sleep for 2-3 hours at a time.

We are home now, I fed him a little while ago and he is asleep now. The cats are freaking out big time, they aren’t sure what to do but I have a feeling in a couple days everything will be fine.

I’m so sore and achy, I’ve swollen up so much my feet look like a cabbage patch doll’s feet. The Dr gave me a script for percocet but I haven’t gotten it filled yet… DH is going to do that now so maybe I can sleep some after I feed him again.

And for the pics…

I know, I look terrible, but I’m so tired at that point I couldn’t say no to mom trying to take our pic…

Well…

I won’t jinx myself since every time I post anything about my progress it seems to stop but let’s just say that every 6 minutes I’m in extreme pain…   I’m hoping that I’ll need to wake up Bishop soon so we can take a short car ride if you know what I mean…

Anxiously awaiting…

I know that everyone is waiting with baited breath to hear the good news that Derek has arrived…and frankly so am I…

I don’t know what to do…I just want to cry…