I know I’ve been blogging only about my pregnancy updates, I figured that I should update about everything else that is going on.
House hunting in on hold for now, not sure if I mentioned it earlier but my manager at work got diagnosed with cancer and is out for 6 months leaving me to manage the bakery. Because of that I’m getting manager pay and am making too much to qualify for the subsidized loan for a house. We’re thinking after the baby is born we can look into the program again and maybe be able to move in the spring if we are able to find a place fast. I hope so, our apartment is just too small for us now, I can’t imagine how it will be after the baby is here.
The apartment we live in has been no problem that I can’t handle for 6 years but it’s falling apart now. First the dishwasher started leaking nasty water all over the floor. A month later it finally got replaced and is all shiny and new and wonderful. But still, a month without a dishwasher when you are used to having one sucked. Never mind having a tiny kitchen with no counter space to dry dishes on. Then Bishop flipped the bathroom switch downstairs a couple days later and all the switches and sockets along that wall, the bathroom light switch, the hall light switch, and the socket with all the TV stuff plugged in it, stopped working. Thankfully our friend knew what was going on and replaced the switch and everything worked again. But again, another major thing that fell apart. Then right before my birthday our oven thermostat went out. I didn’t realize it until the chicken, who had been in the 400 oven for an hour, came out raw and we ended up eating McD’s for dinner. It’s been 2 weeks now, with no oven, and tomorrow they are supposed to replace the thermostat. Hopefully anyway. Kind of need it for Thanksgiving, it’ll be hard to bake stuffing for Bishop without an oven.
Work is stressful. Like a lot. I’ve got people pissed at me, I’m trying to train 2 people to take over when I’m gone on leave and Thanksgiving, the busiest time of year for the bakery, is only a week away. Oh, yeah, and Christmas, the second busiest time of year for the bakery is only a month away. Maybe that’s why I’m losing my hair. And even though I’m really only working 4 days a week I’m still exhausted and sore and cranky every day. I thought I could do the job without a problem until the end of my pregnancy but I’m not so sure now. It’s just getting so hard to do the physical stuff along with the mental stuff, it’s wearing me down. I’m counting the days, 45 to be exact, to when I go on leave.
Derek’s 3rd birthday was last week. We didn’t do much, I made a cake for him at work, a cute little spongebob cake that I forgot to take a picture of, we went out to dinner and opened some presents. That was about it. And the whole time he vehemently denied that it was his birthday though he wants it to be his birthday now. He has hit the terrible 2s (or 3s if you want to call it that) in the last month or so. He freaks out about every little thing. Like this morning, his first banana I broke the top off of it and he wouldn’t eat it. And he screamed and cried and was in full melt down mode over it until I replaced it with a new banana. I threw the broken banana in the garbage. I really wanted to throw it at him, or at least across the room or splatter the fucking thing against the wall. Yeah, I was that mad about it. Then just 20 minutes ago, with another new banana, he was peeling it and the banana broke in half. Again, full melt down mode. Finally he just ate the damn thing. I keep having to tell myself that it’s just a phase, he will grow out of it, in a couple years he will be such a different little kid that I’ll look back on this time in his life with nostalgia. But for now I’m having to grit my teeth together to keep from screaming and running away when he gets like that.
I finally reconnected with one of my blogging buddies, I found her on twitter and found her blog again, which I was so thankful for, but then she disappeared again. I miss chatting with her and reading her blog. It’s almost depressing when she is one of the only blogs I read and she is missing again. Kris, e-mail me please!!!
With this pregnancy in general, it’s been much better than when I was pg with Derek, but it’s starting to get hard. As I mentioned I’m tired, sore, achy and cranky. But it seems to be worse that than with the total lack of energy or motivation that is constant with me. I really want to do nothing but sleep for a couple days and eat whatever the hell I feel like without the possibility of my blood sugar getting too high or gaining any weight or the pressing responsibility of laundry and dishes and cooking dinner and cleaning up the house and vacuuming and scrubbing toilets and bathtubs and scooping the cat boxes and sweeping the floor and going through the mess my desk has become…well, all the stuff that needs to be done but I’m not doing because I don’t have the energy to do it. That is why I’m putting my foot down, this is my last pregnancy. No more. I hate it, I know I’ve had it easy with no morning sickness or bed rest or any of that, but every aspect of pregnancy sucks for me. Never again.
