The boob

I go back to work in a month. A month from today actually. Thanks to WIC I’ve got a breast pump.

It is my friend and my enemy. I hate it because I feel like a milk cow when I’m using it and I just don’t get much out of it, maybe, at most, 3 ounces at a time. I love it because it’s hands free and Mikenna will be able to drink breast milk instead of formula.

And at the same time I’m loving/hating it I feel like I’m warping Derek’s mind when I’m pumping because he usually is sitting in my lap or next to me avidly watching the pump work. Last night, after I was done pumping, I got up to clean all the parts and left the pump sitting on the couch. When I came back into the room he was trying to put the air tube on his nipple so he could pump too.

He also offers Mikenna his nipple because he apparently has chocolate milk in his.

I also breast feed her in front of him, I don’t feel like it’s a bad thing. Not like the pump is anyway.

I guess it’s not all bad though, Derek will grow up with a respect for breast feeding and the knowledge that boobs are for feeding a child, not just a sexual thing.

That’s me, always looking to my kids’ future. At least I hope so.

Mikenna Marie

I started having contractions on Sunday. I called mom to come stay with Derek at midnight so we could go to the hospital. When we were there the contractions, which had been about 5 minutes apart slowed down to 10 minutes apart though they were very painful. I was dilated to about 1 1/2. My Dr had the nurse give me a shot of morphine and sent me home to try and sleep. The shot made me super woozy and took away most of the pain but it still hurt enough to wake me up every contraction I had. At that point they were about 15-20 minutes apart.

Monday I had contractions off and on all day, nothing regular and the intensity was way less than they had been the night before. I had a Dr appt and he swept my membranes again. I was dilated to 2. By 5 pm my contractions were regular again, every 5-7 minutes, and getting painful again. Sometimes so bad I was in tears and couldn’t catch my breath afterwords. At 7 DH took Derek to my mom’s house and we went to the hospital again. I was dilated to 3. They decided to keep me this time. Because I was GBS+ they started an IV right away. I was then able to get some pain relief thankfully because I was in agony. They offered me a heat pack for my back since most of the pain was there and I ended up using heat packs the entire time.

Tuesday I was still dilating though slowly. By about noon I was to the point that I couldn’t have a contraction without almost screaming and crying. Since I was trying a VBAC some of the anesthesiologists at the hospital were against giving me an epidural, the one on call at the time wouldn’t do it. He actually told my Dr that they were against hospital policy. My other Dr later said that was BS. My Dr was able to find another person to do the epidural and they gave me a light dose just to relax me some. When she was prepping my back it felt like she was wiping it down with sandpaper, so painful! But she got it in and almost instant relief. She didn’t give me enough to totally numb me so I was still feeling the contractions but they weren’t as painful as they were. I still had the heat packs on my back at that point. I was at 6 cm when they did that. They put an internal contraction monitor in because the external monitor wasn’t showing how strong my contractions were. She had to replace it because it stopped working right after they put the epidural in and I had dilated to 7 by that time. At 4 the epidural started wearing off or not being as effective and at 4:30 she checked me again and I was at 10. She set up the table and got everything ready and told me it was time. I think I only pushed through about 5-6 contractions, screaming and hollering the whole time, crying that I couldn’t do this, it hurt too much, but I did push her out. The cord was around her neck but the Dr said I pushed so fast that it slipped over he shoulders and then she was out. At that point I was in total shock, suddenly there was a baby on my chest and DH was crying. I couldn’t believe it was over. Then the placenta was out and the Dr was stitching me up. Not sure how many stitches since she just did one running stitch but she said it was a level 2 tear. It was very painful for the first couple days but not they don’t bother me. When they went to remove my epidural they saw that I had burns on my back from the heat packs and I had had a reaction to the tape she put on my back for the epidural so I had a 2 by 6 inch stripe of blisters and rash on my back. That hurts more than anything at this point.

Mikenna Marie Bishop was born at 5:02 pm on January 17th. She weighed 6 pounds, 14 ounces, was 19 inches long and her apgars were both 9. She had no jaundice and no other issues. She was nursing before I left the delivery room, no problems there. We spent a day and a half in the hospital after she was born and then came home.

Derek has been a wonderful brother, he thinks she is “so super cute” and keeps trying to help out, even going so far as asking me if she wants his nipple when she is done with mine. It’s too funny sometimes.  I have a healthy baby girl that has been a dream compared to Derek’s first days home. She cries very little and is immune to the noise in the house, not even flinching when the dog barks or Derek screams. She sleeps pretty good though the first couple nights she didn’t sleep at all. She is nursing very good which is wonderful, I do have sore nipples but that’s more because of the marathon nursing sessions the first couple days. I’m very happy with everything but all that went on with my labor and delivery just cemented it in my head that this will be our last child. No more.

 

 

 

 

Status Update #7

How far along? 40 weeks and 3 days…ok, I’m over-ripe at this point.

My total chunk-o-meter: Lost weight again, total of 8 pounds gained. Though I won’t know the final tally until I get to the hospital but for now I’m saying 8 pounds.

I was having strong contractions this morning, from about 3:30 am to almost 10, but they went away. I’m upset to say the least. I have a Dr appt tomorrow afternoon and we’ll be talking about doing a c-section on Friday the 20th if I haven’t gone into labor but I have the feeling in the next day or two I’ll find myself in the hospital. That would be nice. You know, to have a normal labor without any knives involved or pitocin (I can’t have it anyway because of having a c/s with Derek) or anything else to speed things along. So far today has been a repeat of my first day of labor with Derek and this time I’m just hanging out at home for it. I’ll go into the hospital if my water breaks or if my contractions actually get regular and stay that way.

Next post: baby pics!!!

Status Update #6

How far along? 36 weeks, 4 weeks (more or less, hopefully less) to go!

Baby’s size: Around 6 pounds and about 19 inches.

My total chunk-o-meter: Lost weight this time, I’m down to 9 pounds gained. Total. I know, crazy!

Stretch marks? No, there is still lots of room in my skin. In fact, I was comparing myself now to when I was this far along with Derek and wow, I still don’t really have a belly. Here, just for comparison:

34 weeks with Derek

34 weeks with Mikenna

Belly button status? Innie. Still.

Counting sheep? Starting to. I find myself awake at like 3 am just laying there, thinking about stupid stuff. Like what goodies I’m going to make for Christmas. Or what needs to be done at work. Lots of unimportant bull shit going through my mind at the moment.

Best moment this month: Realizing that I only have 10 days of work left and 15 days until I’m on leave. Made my day!

Milestone: 36 weeks as of yesterday. If I go into labor now, please not, but if I did, I would be taking home a baby in a couple days. How crazy is that?

Honestly, I’m just ready to be done. Done with work, done thinking about stupid stuff, done thinking I need to do this and this and this and this and that before the baby comes but never actually doing any of it. Though I did mostly pack my hospital bag yesterday and I started getting the last stuff I really need, like a car seat and a new boppy. I just have a couple more items I need to get for my bag, like shampoo and conditioner and a hair brush and body wash and hair ties. Stuff I didn’t realize I needed last time but I know I’ll be wanting this time. So ready to be done with all of this. I really dislike being pregnant I’ve discovered and I’m really happy that we’ve come to the decision that this will be our last child.

Status Update: Everything Else

I know I’ve been blogging only about my pregnancy updates, I figured that I should update about everything else that is going on.

House hunting in on hold for now, not sure if I mentioned it earlier but my manager at work got diagnosed with cancer and is out for 6 months leaving me to manage the bakery. Because of that I’m getting manager pay and am making too much to qualify for the subsidized loan for a house. We’re thinking after the baby is born we can look into the program again and maybe be able to move in the spring if we are able to find a place fast. I hope so, our apartment is just too small for us now, I can’t imagine how it will be after the baby is here.

The apartment we live in has been no problem that I can’t handle for 6 years but it’s falling apart now. First the dishwasher started leaking nasty water all over the floor. A month later it finally got replaced and is all shiny and new and wonderful. But still, a month without a dishwasher when you are used to having one sucked. Never mind having a tiny kitchen with no counter space to dry dishes on. Then Bishop flipped the bathroom switch downstairs a couple days later and all the switches and sockets along that wall, the bathroom light switch, the hall light switch, and the socket with all the TV stuff plugged in it, stopped working. Thankfully our friend knew what was going on and replaced the switch and everything worked again. But again, another major thing that fell apart. Then right before my birthday our oven thermostat went out. I didn’t realize it until the chicken, who had been in the 400 oven for an hour, came out raw and we ended up eating McD’s for dinner. It’s been 2 weeks now, with no oven, and tomorrow they are supposed to replace the thermostat. Hopefully anyway. Kind of need it for Thanksgiving, it’ll be hard to bake stuffing for Bishop without an oven.

Work is stressful. Like a lot. I’ve got people pissed at me, I’m trying to train 2 people to take over when I’m gone on leave and Thanksgiving, the busiest time of year for the bakery, is only a week away. Oh, yeah, and Christmas, the second busiest time of year for the bakery is only a month away. Maybe that’s why I’m losing my hair. And even though I’m really only working 4 days a week I’m still exhausted and sore and cranky every day. I thought I could do the job without a problem until the end of my pregnancy but I’m not so sure now. It’s just getting so hard to do the physical stuff along with the mental stuff, it’s wearing me down. I’m counting the days, 45 to be exact, to when I go on leave.

Derek’s 3rd birthday was last week. We didn’t do much, I made a cake for him at work, a cute little spongebob cake that I forgot to take a picture of, we went out to dinner and opened some presents. That was about it. And the whole time he vehemently denied that it was his birthday though he wants it to be his birthday now. He has hit the terrible 2s (or 3s if you want to call it that) in the last month or so. He freaks out about every little thing. Like this morning, his first banana I broke the top off of it and he wouldn’t eat it. And he screamed and cried and was in full melt down mode over it until I replaced it with a new banana. I threw the broken banana in the garbage. I really wanted to throw it at him, or at least across the room or splatter the fucking thing against the wall. Yeah, I was that mad about it. Then just 20 minutes ago, with another new banana, he was peeling it and the banana broke in half. Again, full melt down mode. Finally he just ate the damn thing. I keep having to tell myself that it’s just a phase, he will grow out of it, in a couple years he will be such a different little kid that I’ll look back on this time in his life with nostalgia. But for now I’m having to grit my teeth together to keep from screaming and running away when he gets like that.

I finally reconnected with one of my blogging buddies, I found her on twitter and found her blog again, which I was so thankful for, but then she disappeared again. I miss chatting with her and reading her blog. It’s almost depressing when she is one of the only blogs I read and she is missing again. Kris, e-mail me please!!!

With this pregnancy in general, it’s been much better than when I was pg with Derek, but it’s starting to get hard. As I mentioned I’m tired, sore, achy and cranky. But it seems to be worse that than with the total lack of energy or motivation that is constant with me. I really want to do nothing but sleep for a couple days and eat whatever the hell I feel like without the possibility of my blood sugar getting too high or gaining any weight or the pressing responsibility of laundry and dishes and cooking dinner and cleaning up the house and vacuuming and scrubbing toilets and bathtubs and scooping the cat boxes and sweeping the floor and going through the mess my desk has become…well, all the stuff that needs to be done but I’m not doing because I don’t have the energy to do it. That is why I’m putting my foot down, this is my last pregnancy. No more. I hate it, I know I’ve had it easy with no morning sickness or bed rest or any of that, but every aspect of pregnancy sucks for me. Never again.