My total chunk-o-meter: Lost weight again, total of 8 pounds gained. Though I won’t know the final tally until I get to the hospital but for now I’m saying 8 pounds.

I was having strong contractions this morning, from about 3:30 am to almost 10, but they went away. I’m upset to say the least. I have a Dr appt tomorrow afternoon and we’ll be talking about doing a c-section on Friday the 20th if I haven’t gone into labor but I have the feeling in the next day or two I’ll find myself in the hospital. That would be nice. You know, to have a normal labor without any knives involved or pitocin (I can’t have it anyway because of having a c/s with Derek) or anything else to speed things along. So far today has been a repeat of my first day of labor with Derek and this time I’m just hanging out at home for it. I’ll go into the hospital if my water breaks or if my contractions actually get regular and stay that way.

Next post: baby pics!!!

Baby’s size: Around 6 pounds and about 19 inches.

My total chunk-o-meter: Lost weight this time, I’m down to 9 pounds gained. Total. I know, crazy!

Stretch marks? No, there is still lots of room in my skin. In fact, I was comparing myself now to when I was this far along with Derek and wow, I still don’t really have a belly. Here, just for comparison:

34 weeks with Derek

34 weeks with Mikenna

Belly button status? Innie. Still.

Counting sheep? Starting to. I find myself awake at like 3 am just laying there, thinking about stupid stuff. Like what goodies I’m going to make for Christmas. Or what needs to be done at work. Lots of unimportant bull shit going through my mind at the moment.

Best moment this month: Realizing that I only have 10 days of work left and 15 days until I’m on leave. Made my day!

Milestone: 36 weeks as of yesterday. If I go into labor now, please not, but if I did, I would be taking home a baby in a couple days. How crazy is that?

Honestly, I’m just ready to be done. Done with work, done thinking about stupid stuff, done thinking I need to do this and this and this and this and that before the baby comes but never actually doing any of it. Though I did mostly pack my hospital bag yesterday and I started getting the last stuff I really need, like a car seat and a new boppy. I just have a couple more items I need to get for my bag, like shampoo and conditioner and a hair brush and body wash and hair ties. Stuff I didn’t realize I needed last time but I know I’ll be wanting this time. So ready to be done with all of this. I really dislike being pregnant I’ve discovered and I’m really happy that we’ve come to the decision that this will be our last child.

House hunting in on hold for now, not sure if I mentioned it earlier but my manager at work got diagnosed with cancer and is out for 6 months leaving me to manage the bakery. Because of that I’m getting manager pay and am making too much to qualify for the subsidized loan for a house. We’re thinking after the baby is born we can look into the program again and maybe be able to move in the spring if we are able to find a place fast. I hope so, our apartment is just too small for us now, I can’t imagine how it will be after the baby is here.

The apartment we live in has been no problem that I can’t handle for 6 years but it’s falling apart now. First the dishwasher started leaking nasty water all over the floor. A month later it finally got replaced and is all shiny and new and wonderful. But still, a month without a dishwasher when you are used to having one sucked. Never mind having a tiny kitchen with no counter space to dry dishes on. Then Bishop flipped the bathroom switch downstairs a couple days later and all the switches and sockets along that wall, the bathroom light switch, the hall light switch, and the socket with all the TV stuff plugged in it, stopped working. Thankfully our friend knew what was going on and replaced the switch and everything worked again. But again, another major thing that fell apart. Then right before my birthday our oven thermostat went out. I didn’t realize it until the chicken, who had been in the 400 oven for an hour, came out raw and we ended up eating McD’s for dinner. It’s been 2 weeks now, with no oven, and tomorrow they are supposed to replace the thermostat. Hopefully anyway. Kind of need it for Thanksgiving, it’ll be hard to bake stuffing for Bishop without an oven.

Work is stressful. Like a lot. I’ve got people pissed at me, I’m trying to train 2 people to take over when I’m gone on leave and Thanksgiving, the busiest time of year for the bakery, is only a week away. Oh, yeah, and Christmas, the second busiest time of year for the bakery is only a month away. Maybe that’s why I’m losing my hair. And even though I’m really only working 4 days a week I’m still exhausted and sore and cranky every day. I thought I could do the job without a problem until the end of my pregnancy but I’m not so sure now. It’s just getting so hard to do the physical stuff along with the mental stuff, it’s wearing me down. I’m counting the days, 45 to be exact, to when I go on leave.

Derek’s 3rd birthday was last week. We didn’t do much, I made a cake for him at work, a cute little spongebob cake that I forgot to take a picture of, we went out to dinner and opened some presents. That was about it. And the whole time he vehemently denied that it was his birthday though he wants it to be his birthday now. He has hit the terrible 2s (or 3s if you want to call it that) in the last month or so. He freaks out about every little thing. Like this morning, his first banana I broke the top off of it and he wouldn’t eat it. And he screamed and cried and was in full melt down mode over it until I replaced it with a new banana. I threw the broken banana in the garbage. I really wanted to throw it at him, or at least across the room or splatter the fucking thing against the wall. Yeah, I was that mad about it. Then just 20 minutes ago, with another new banana, he was peeling it and the banana broke in half. Again, full melt down mode. Finally he just ate the damn thing. I keep having to tell myself that it’s just a phase, he will grow out of it, in a couple years he will be such a different little kid that I’ll look back on this time in his life with nostalgia. But for now I’m having to grit my teeth together to keep from screaming and running away when he gets like that.

I finally reconnected with one of my blogging buddies, I found her on twitter and found her blog again, which I was so thankful for, but then she disappeared again. I miss chatting with her and reading her blog. It’s almost depressing when she is one of the only blogs I read and she is missing again. Kris, e-mail me please!!!

With this pregnancy in general, it’s been much better than when I was pg with Derek, but it’s starting to get hard. As I mentioned I’m tired, sore, achy and cranky. But it seems to be worse that than with the total lack of energy or motivation that is constant with me. I really want to do nothing but sleep for a couple days and eat whatever the hell I feel like without the possibility of my blood sugar getting too high or gaining any weight or the pressing responsibility of laundry and dishes and cooking dinner and cleaning up the house and vacuuming and scrubbing toilets and bathtubs and scooping the cat boxes and sweeping the floor and going through the mess my desk has become…well, all the stuff that needs to be done but I’m not doing because I don’t have the energy to do it. That is why I’m putting my foot down, this is my last pregnancy. No more. I hate it, I know I’ve had it easy with no morning sickness or bed rest or any of that, but every aspect of pregnancy sucks for me. Never again.

How far along? 30 weeks….wow, 7 months along already!

Baby’s size: 15 inches, give or take a few, and almost 3 pounds.

My total chunk-o-meter: Up a whopping 12 pounds. So glad I’m not gaining this time like I did with Derek but I can thank my work and the 8 hours a day I spend on my feet, lifting, walking, bending, pushing and pulling racks around my bakery.

Stretch marks? Nothing more than what Derek left me with though I may sport some new ones soon since I’ve officially “popped”.

Belly button status? Innie. Still

Counting sheep? Sometimes but I’m mostly so tired that it doesn’t take much to get me to go to sleep.

Foods I can’t live without: Sweets. Chocolate in particular. Good thing we have a TON of left over Halloween candy and Thanksgiving/Christmas is around the corner.

Foods I can’t stand: Milk. Gross!

Best moment this month: Bishop got to feel her flipping around in there. Pretty cool.

Worst moment this month: Nothing really. Other than the aches and pains that I expect everyone goes through, though mine seem to be magnified since I’m usually very flexible and the loosing of the joints just makes it work.

Movement? Yeah. Have you ever seen a fish just pulled out of the water and it’s in a net? You know how it flops around, thrashing and flipping all over? That’s what the movement is like. And I’m developing a sore spot where her knee rests…

Gender? GIRL!!!!

What do I miss? Doing all the things pregnant people can’t do.

What I’m looking forward to? Getting off work for more than a couple days in a row. I just managed to get 3 days off in a row but I could still use more.

Milestone: 30 weeks down, 10 weeks to go, 3/4 of the way done!!!

Differences: Lots. I’m still not showing much, in fact, if my mom hadn’t spilled the beans in the check stands at my work (yeah, I work at a grocery store) then most people still wouldn’t know, with Derek I was a house halfway through. No heartburn to speak of (knock on wood) when last time I swore my throat had caught on fire. And last time I stopped losing my hair early, like around 12 weeks, and was so happy about it but this time I’m still losing handfuls. It’s kind of weird.

Baby’s size: about a foot long.

My total chunk-o-meter: Couldn’t tell you since my monthly OB appt has been moved, for the 5th time, and now it’s been 6 weeks since I’ve seen the Dr.

Stretch marks? I’m not showing at all, still, nothing to stretch yet….

Belly button status? Innie. Still

Counting sheep? Yeah, I’m so tired at night that I collapse into bed but when I wake up at 4 or 5 in the morning to pee I’m having a really hard time getting back to sleep. Some days it’s just easier to stay awake. And Derek has taken to waking up at 5:30 every morning for the last week so my little bit of sleep that I can manage after I pee just gets cut short.

Foods I can’t live without: Sweets. And hot sauce. Not together, I swear!

Foods I can’t stand: Milk. And bananas. Gross!

Best moment this month: My nightly reading where she just goes crazy kicking me. At some point Bishop is actually going to feel it but for now every time he puts a hand on my belly she goes quiet.

Worst moment this month: Feeling her doing summer-saults. For about 30 minutes the other day, while I was working, I swear she was sitting in me sideways. Uncomfortable to say the least.

Movement? Yeah. It’s not regular most of the time but a hard thump on my cervix here and there makes me pause.

Symptoms: None really. Again, if I didn’t know for sure I wouldn’t think I was pregnant.

Gender? GIRL!!!!

What do I miss? Doing all the things pregnant people can’t do.

What I’m looking forward to? A baby shower. I know you aren’t supposed to have one with your second but it’s a girl and I have nothing remotely girl-related at all.

Monthly Wisdom: I can’t put it off forever but it’s nice not to look pg so I don’t have to tell people about it yet.

Milestone: 24 weeks down, 16 weeks to go!!!

Emotions: Fine for the most part. Here and there I’ve been getting emotional but I’m pretty sure it’s more because of exhaustion than hormones.